DEFINITIONS-(Funny)

Interesting DEFINITIONS

Definition: One who always define for other instead himself.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Experience: The name men give to hide their mistakes.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master degree.

etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Boss: Someone who is fast when you are slow and slow when you are fast. (Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.)

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Humorous DEFINITIONS

1.      Antibody         :           not in favor of anybody

2.      Amphibian      :           someone who tells lies

3.      Aphotic           :           doesn't like to take pictures

4.      Auxin              :           large beasts of burden

5.      Axon               :           the name of a gas station

6.      Barr body        :           someone who frequents bars

7.      B cell               :           prison cell block

8.      Biogeography  :           where I live

9.      Bisexual          :           12 (see sex)

10.  Blood pressure:           persistent relatives

11.  Budding          :           making new friends

12.  Callus              :           very mean

13.  Dicots              :           twin beds

14.  Fauna              :           likes (as in I am fauna you)

15.  Fertilize           :           very big lies

16.  Filter feeders   :           coffee drinkers

17.  Genital            :           kind and friendly

18.  Homeostasis    :           stays at home

19.  Interferon        :           to get in the way

20.  Melanin           :           referring to Mel and 'nem'

21.  Metacarpal      :           a big car pool

22.  Micro bodies   :           short people

23.  Node               :           past tense of know

24.  Organelle         :           a small musical instrument

25.  Seed                :           past tense of see

26.  Sexy                :           the number after 5

27.  Tachycardia     :           a tacky sweater

28.  Taxis                :           several cabs

29.  Venue              :           place to hold an event

30.  Armchair         :           chair for Army